Week ending 29th January

How could be have misunderstood them so ... ? All these years, and we've been accusing the BBI of something it didn't do. Former leader Peter Jordan puts us right in a letter to the local press in which he tells us that whilst the party originally "were very critical" of the idea of the road "improvements" that begin soon in Queen Street and Sleaford Road, after a long series of meetings and "robust" discussions with Lincolnshire County Council they achieved a high proportion of the many changes they wanted. We didn't know the party had so many people who were so knowledgeable on the matter of highway science. Thanks for putting us right Mr J - now if you could just remind when this damascene conversion occurred, and perhaps direct us to the minutes where we can read about it, we could be most grateful. Not, of course, that we doubt it for a minute but our memories obviously aren't as good as yours ... We were also pleased to learn that "contrary to some politicians' thinking it is very good management to be prepared to change one's opinion in the light of additional information." Another new policy that somehow passed us by.

Who ya gonna call ...? Is there a ghost at the Geoff Moulder Leisure Pool? Members of Lincolnshire Paranormal Investigators think so after spending a night there. "The changing rooms are very humid and can suddenly go icy cold," investigator Dean Grant, who founded the group, told a local paper. We've got some bad news for you, Dean. The changing rooms at Geoff Moulder are always like that!
Bringing back Sunday peace ... It may have been because it was a Sunday when we visited Oldrids last weekend but even so, we'd like to congratulate the store for turning off the annoying voice in their lift which announces "doors opening, doors closing, first floor second floor" etc, etc, etc. We've long thought that the nanny state takes things a step too far in telling us the obvious. It's a start. How about other shops in the town taking it further? For instance, we've never had a problem seeing which counter next becomes vacant when standing in a queue. Perhaps the same annoying voice that tells us this in shop after shop could also be silenced. Anything that helps restore calm to our unnecessarily noisy streets and shops would be most welcome.
Talking of standing in queues ... whoever is responsible for the mess that currently greets visitors to Boston's Post Office? Presumably refitting is underway, but it seems mostly to be to house financial advisers, at the expense of the helpful counter that sold odds and ends along with lottery tickets. Now a notice orders anyone who wants a lottery ticket to join the endless queue that takes an age to reach a point of service. Who are they kidding? There are plenty of other places in town where you can buy a ticket without the need for a ten minute wait.
Then there was one ... A begging letter from the National Lottery (now there's a change) invites the people of Boston to nominate their favourite local lottery-funded project for the 2010 National Lottery Awards. This isn't too difficult. There's only one. Boston College was given £23,770 to "take the classroom to the student," in the form of a bus fitted with computer workstations and internet access which visits village weekly for people to take courses. Apparently this helps people who are unaccustomed to a formal education environment to overcome their natural reluctance to "go back to school." Sounds great, it would probably be cheaper to bring the students in by chauffeur-driven limousine. But how disappointing that Boston could only manage one successful bid to the lottery fund in a year.
Oh Ma goodness ... We can only assume that the idea of giving the freedom of Boston to the long dead Herbert Ingram has come about because of the renewed popularity of zombies. If we were asked for our own idea, we feel that we could go one better. Ingram was well known in his day, but is a bit old hat in 2010. An unsung son of Boston is the late Arthur Lucan - better known as Old Mother Riley. Lucan was also a Victorian, which would please the Boston Victorian Cemetery Trust which wants to honour Ingram with the town freedom. Lucan left behind him a treasure trove of 16 movies which could form the core for an annual Boston Film festival which we are sure would draw enthusiasts from around the globe to see such classics as Mother Riley Meets the Vampire, Old Mother Riley's Jungle Treasure, Old Mother Riley, Headmistress, and Old Mother Riley's Circus. We think it's time to give old Herbert the heave-ho and replace him on the plinth beside the Stump by none other than ... you've guessed it ... Old Mother Riley (see our picture below.)

Were that to happen, the memorial could serve a dual purpose for the next year or so, as it's been suggested that there's a passing resemblance between Boston's grand dame of comedy and a certain Borough Council Leader.

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