Monkey business afoot as Jimmy comes calling

Meet Jimmy Gimme, who'll soon be knocking on your door demanding money. Jimmy is the chairman of another new organisation that aims to put Boston on the map (as if it wasn't already!)
The organisation is called Boston Uplift Means Success - or BUMS for short.
Soon, everyone living in the town will receive ballot papers asking if they approve of establishing BUMS, and given that someone, somewhere always votes in favour of something, we expect it will be possible to claim that after ignoring everyone who didn't vote, a sufficient majority of the minority who did means that BUMS can start work making the borough a "better" place.
To do this it will employ a couple of lads to loaf around the Pescod Centre chatting up shop-girls in the name of security, whilst a few ne'er-do-wells will pull up a handful of weeds in obscure areas of the town.
Everyone living in Boston will then pay an annual levy of £1 for this service whether they voted for it or not and whether they want it or not, and Boston Borough will drag them through the courts if they refuse.
Sounds familiar?
Boston Eye's parody was inspired by the actions of Boston Business Improvement District - Boston BID - in dragging 78 firms to court because they are alleged to "owe" around £40,000.
The shopkeepers are naturally aggrieved at being ordered to pay for something they either voted against, or abstained from voting for at all, and which they feel does nothing for them.
For the BID to go ahead more than half the businesses balloted needed to back it - but only votes cast were taken into account. The turnout was a pathetic 24.8% - but the rules said an even more pathetic 20% would be enough.
So Boston BID was formed.
Since then it's "most high-profile" operation has been the creation of the Town Rangers costing £60,000 a year. These seldom-seen characters "patrol" the town, and it is claimed that they have had an impact on shop lifting and anti social behaviour.
However, we also have dedicated security staff operating at the Pescod Centre, and many of the bigger stores employ their own sheriffs as well. Then of course, we have CCTV (more about that tomorrow,) real police and the PCSOs - so it's not really surprising that tradespeople are objecting to paying yet again for a service that they already fund.
Not only that, but as the Rangers more often than not patrol singly, the BID rules prevent them from challenging anyone they think might be a potential concern.
The only other thing the BID seems to have done is organised a bit of weed pulling in Mastin's Court last August.
Again, businesses may question why they should pay for a job like this when it is the job of other organisations and paid for through their business rates.
The disgraceful answer to such questions comes from the BID Manager, Niall Armstrong, who told a local paper: "It's like an election. If you do not vote, you lose your say."
We think a more apt quotation was made as long ago as 1957, when press magnate Roy Thomson described his successful bid for a commercial TV franchise as "a licence to print money."
A browse through the BID's difficult-to-navigate website, is like reading the diary of a nobody.
Contrast their operation with that of Lincoln BIG - which has just received the endorsement of four out of five businesses in the city. Since it started operations, Lincoln BIG has bombarded the city with a host of good ideas - read what it has done and what it plans for the future in its latest prospectus  .
We think that Boston BID is a lethargic failure that needs to get its act together PDQ.
People are willing to pay for something if they believe they are getting value for money.
Boston BID patently does not provide this.
The BID levy generates £200,000 a year, of which at least half must go on a handful of salaries - although we could find no sight of any accounts within the organisation's documents library. That leaves £100k - and these days it doesn't go very far.
We have to say that our sympathies are with the traders who are refusing to pay, and who are now being bullied and criminalised by Boston Borough Council.

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