It's enough to

make a sailor swear

If Boston Borough Council’s website is to be believed, then, - like the words of Belinda Carlisle - the borough is becoming a piece of heaven on earth.
Aside from the fact that we could be murdered for being different, we are told that in recent weeks Boston is “Best at crime reduction,” the “Country's best at getting fit,” and “Safer in the workplace.”
Not surprisingly, the credit for all this improvement appears to be largely due to the efforts of Boston Borough Council – although we have struggled to discover where it says that some of these responsibilities are within the remit of a local authority.
One would have thought that there were enough other issues which needed addressing in Boston without the council looking for jobs that are not really theirs.

The latest in this Niagara of good tidings is the news that we are now “Better behaved.”
Apparently, year on year, there has been a 33% reduction in incidents causing “fear and concern” and a 40% improvement between November 2010 and December 2010.
Anti-social behaviour incidents, such as swearing in the street, have reduced year on year by 20% with a monthly reduction between November and December of 34%.
We have previously raised an eyebrow at some of the claims made by the council.
Certainly, the Sport England statistics, which apparently dubbed us the best in the country at getting fit, were more than a little suspect when inspected more closely.
The crime figures at which we were “best” in reducing, were low to begin with, and again, are subject to considerable fluctuation which makes a single year’s result an unreliable indicator.
This latest boast claims to have reduced bad behaviour by “proactively” responding to reports of anti-social behaviour and to dealing with the offenders – i.e. sending a policeman.
Meanwhile, “hammering home the message that people do not have to put up with unacceptable behaviour” seems to involve dressing up as Darth Vader, or a badger, or – when the fancy dress hire fund is exhausted - sticking on an orange T shirt and calling yourself a member of the council’s “Tango team” …. whatever on earth that means! What next – Mr Floppy Bunny’s campaign for gentlemen to doff their flat caps when a lady approaches?
The problem we have with the latest good news figures is this: If someone starts effing and blinding in the street (yes, it occasionally happens in Boston) most people accept it as normal behaviour.
If any are offended and send for the police to run them in, the offence has already been committed – and so the statistics remain unchanged.
It is impossible to claim that swearing in the street has reduced in any way, shape or form – unless the powers that be are in every street, every day, all the time, reducing it … which they are not.
All that these figures mean is that fewer offences have been logged - which is  not the same as saying that fewer offences have been committed.
We know that it is the job of a council to make itself look good.
But treating us all like fools with phoney figures is not the way to go about it.
It’s enough to make you swear!

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