Sixty nine sentences in 45 paragraphs running to almost 1,200 words must make this one of the longest pieces ever posted on the borough site.
Amongst his interests, Councillor Jordan lists the comic operas of Gilbert and Sullivan - in particular, HMS Pinafore - which is where we found our comparisons between life and art.
Who, for example, could fail to identify our next Mayor from this description:
"His foot should stamp,
and his throat should growl,
His hair should twirl,
and his face should scowl,
His eyes should flash,
and his breast protrude,
And this should be his customary attitude."
Who said that? Gilbert and Sullivan, in HMS Pinafore.
And even Councillor Jordan's biography seems modelled on another G&S hero from that same operetta.
Condensed, it tells the story of a boy born to hard-working parents with no privileged silver-spoon upbringing, whose wise old mum told him “Have a trade, son, and you’ll never want." Aged 16, he begins training with Fisher Clark (later Norprint) and during the next 44 years becomes a work study expert, then climbs the career ladder as supervisor, department manager, works manager, production director and managing director of Norprint.
Again, life imitates art for the man who takes on the job of Mayor, which along with it carries the title of Admiral of the Wash!
When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.
I polished up that handle so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile so bland,
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand--
I copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
In serving writs I made such a name
That an articled clerk I soon became;
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For the pass examination at the Institute,
And that pass examination did so well for me,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership.
And that junior partnership, I ween,
Was the only ship that I ever had seen.
But that kind of ship so suited me,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule--
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!
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