Week ending 29th October

Our Friday miscellany

of the week's

news and events

Unkindest cuts of all …Whilst it looks as though Bostonians will have to wait a few more months before we have a clearer appreciation of the government financial cuts, we can get a clue or two from other areas.

Roading roughshod … Lincoln's proposed £130m Eastern Bypass has been put on the lowest rung of a three tier list, which means that it will receive more investigation, and only be approved if it passes certain “pre-qualifications.” The result will be announced in January. There are no prizes for guessing what the chances are for Boston’s “distributor road” – the booby prize intended to replace the bypass promised by the BBI … now know as DRIP (the Distributor Road Independents’ Party.)
Copping out … Meanwhile, Lincolnshire’s Chief Constable has said the need to save £20m over the next four years could mean the loss of 70 officers and 100 support staff. Regrettable as this may be, we have said before that Boston could wave goodbye to its PCSOs and probably never notice the difference. What’s even more worrying is that reports say that public safety is at risk because more than four in five police authorities are not good enough to best protect front line policing.
Quote of the weak … Comes from Steve Goulder, a local shopkeeper who has inherited the chairmanship of Boston Business Improvement District. Despite an apparent majority wish by the press-ganged membership to have the BID dissolved, Mr Goulder is quoted as saying: “We take it forward with our without them. Members can either continue to harass us and waste money, or join us and reap the benefits.” Aside from that piece of blatant impudence, he’s also whining that the meeting he was forced to call to debate the BID’s future cost between £1,300 and £1,500 to arrange. No wonder the BID’s in such deep water. Such a dog in the manger attitude won’t help things at all – but then we note that an anagram of S. Goulder comes out as “dogs rule!”
Vic or treat ... What a shame that the pseudonymous "Victor Hunter" went to such elaborate lengths to make local councillors chase a red herring on a genuinely important local issue like the wasteful and pointless community hub project by using a faked e-mail. Presumably, the idea was to ensure that any future attempts to highlight the issue will be dismissed for fear of embarrassment. It should be enough to guarantee that a bit of slack cash finds its way into the equally pointless healthy eating cafe without the slightest murmur of protest.
End of an era … No letters in the local press this week from Council Leader Richard Austin. But the Mouth of the Haven is still in full spate in the shape of Councillor Ramonde Newell. With no apparent sense of irony, the galloping major - who famously shed his Boston Bypass Independents’ allegiances when elected to Lincolnshire County Council to side with the Lincolnshire Independents group in order to get committee places – fulminates against what he calls the “turncoats” within Boston Borough Council. There’s a worrying hint of foam flecks on our newspaper, and we think that Councillor Newell may be starting to lose the plot. The addition of the letters “BBI” after his name may hold a clue. We can hear him repeating them over and over again in a quiet room … much like amphibians go “ribbit, ribbit…”
Chuffed! … One of Boston’s great and good has come up with an idea to save the Royal Train from government cuts. John Cammack tells the Daily Telegraph that it could be hired out to companies wishing to promote British commerce and industry, in a similar way to the Royal Yacht. Perhaps we could lay tracks in Strait Bargate and use HRH’s train to carry passengers rather than those wretched buses.
Hypocrisy … It seems that Council Leader Richard Austin has recruited NFU Mutual as a sponsor for his Flood 200 event. We’re sure that they willingly signed up because it makes them look good – but we know of at least two cases in the past year where they have flatly rejected requests to quote for house insurance on the grounds that the properties concerned are in the Boston PE21 code and therefore in a high risk flood area …
Sub Standard and off-Target … Once again, our local papers have come up trumps. The Standard continues its policy of creating new words whilst mangling old ones. Last week it brought us “punction” for “puncheon,” whilst this week if offers us the story of a Boston man who won a “guerning” championship 45 years ago. Try “gurning” – the word’s only been in the language since the days of bad King John. We’ll ignore the fact that they can’t spell Sketchley or Phoenix, but can’t resist the other comedy clanger in the “Pages from the Past” with the story of the year-old baby who had to be fed bananas because of “an abdominal affection.) But of a slip there – which leads us to...
Four candles … Remember the hilarious sketch by the two Ronnies all those years ago … featuring the frustrated shopkeeper who produced four candles when asked for fork ‘andles? Well, the Boston Target has come up with its own version in the advert pictured below…

You can almost hear the ‘phone call placing the advert, can’t you?
“What’s the headline for what you’re selling ….?
“Boxer pups, ready now….”
“Box a pups … right….”

Thanks for reading. Don't forget "The week in words" tomorrow.

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